When tragedy strikes, there is nothing that can change the fact of the matter, but the generosity and caring of family and friends can make all the difference to those suffering a devastating loss.
There may be nowhere that is more true than here in Newfoundland and Labrador.
For the family of Triffie Wadman, brutally murdered in St. John’s earlier this fall, nothing can change the fact of her death, but there is a plan afoot to remember Triffie and support her 11-year old daughter who was left motherless when Triffie died.
Musician Darrell Duke said he was shaken by the 28-year old woman’s death in October, and wanted to do something to help.
A friend of Triffie’s uncle, Paddy Greene Jr. and her grandfather, Paddy Greene, who was an inspiration to a young Duke, helped inspire him to write Triffie’s Song, which he said “encapsulated my feelings as a fellow Freshwater native and as an old friend of Triffie’s uncle.”
The song was recorded and mixed by Nova Scotia sound engineer, professional road manager and drummer, Frank Newcomb, and co-produced by Duke and Newcomb. Aside from Duke’s six and 12-string guitars, bass, vocals and harmonica, the track features Newcomb on drums, and St. John’s native Lisa Browne on violin.
“The sole intent of the song is to serve as a fundraiser, with all funds to support Triffie’s 11-year-old daughter, Terra,” explained Duke, who currently resides in Clarenville.
“Like many, I was and still am completely shocked, saddened and hurt (about Triffie’s death) and the guitar, is a great outlet for expression for me, so the chords came on their own, very basic, but they captured what I was feeling,” explained Duke. “The lyrics, being from the same hometown as Triffie, came easily. The long drawn-out notes on the harmonica depict much hurt, not only my own, but perhaps what hundreds are feeling.
“I drew quite a bit from words Triffie's friends used on her Facebook memorial page; not in the lyrics, but to put myself in their shoes a little,” he said. “Death, especially a tragic one, easily evokes universal feelings, and I've seen and heard of new friendships developed from this horrific event, including my relationship with Triffie's sister, Sarina (Terra's guardian), who's putting her all into this fundraising project.”
Duke said the song begins with his earliest memories of Triffie as a child, skipping down New Settlement Hill, where her family lived.
“She was always beaming, a big smile on her face. Now, in retrospect, I realize she encapsulated all the innocence of childhood in a town often not so innocent,” he said. “Sadly, her death, and that memory, put a lot of things in perspective, like what's really important and how, as we get older, we tend to forget the simple things in life which often end up our fondest memories as we age, when we take time to look back at our lives.”
He said the song also speak to his gratefulness at being alive and of death putting life in perspective.
“The chorus mentions the light of the moon coming over the Crevecouer (the tallest hill in Freshwater the French named for it's shape, which, looking in from the sea, can be described as a broken heart). While I've written of that hill in other songs and stories, it seems to me to have found a place of true significance in Triffie's death,” said Duke.
“The last verse expresses my wish to have had a chance to prevent her death, in the form of a bird who could have, perhaps, sang a song to distract the killer, to give her a chance to continue being just the way she was; a beautiful, funny, charming, intelligent, friend, mommy, sister, daughter, etc.”
Triffie’s sister, Sarina, now guardian to Triffie’s daughter Terra, said she and her family are incredibly grateful to Darrell for writing the song and helping to provide for Triffie’s daughter.
But, she said, more importantly, the song captures some sense of Triffie’s life and personality, something she said is invaluable to her family and to Terra, Triffie’s daughter.
“My sister was a free spirit who did all she could to provide for her daughter. She was the type of person who made friends wherever she went, and she was quite able to handle herself in just about any situation,” said Wadman, who had been taking care of Terra for the past couple of years while Triffie was in Calgary working and then still when she moved back home and began working in St. John’s.
“Me and Triffie raised Terra,” Sarina explained. “Terra came to live with me to help her continue the life she was used to here in Freshwater. It is what Terra and Triffie wanted. To me, it showed just how much Triffie loved her daughter, that she wanted her to be happy with family.”
Sarina said perhaps, now in retrospect, there was a deeper underlying reason why Terra lived with her.
“I wonder know if that made it just a little easier on Terra, that she didn’t have her life completely changed when her mother was murdered. She didn’t have to move or be disrupted, other than losing her mom. She’s been very strong through all this and tends to be the one to comfort the rest of us. She just amazes me,” said Sarina.
She added when Darrell came to her with the idea for the song, she was pretty happy with the idea, but when she actually heard the song, it blew her away.
“I heard it and it took the good out of me for about a week or so. But it is heart-warming and gives us (the family) something else to grasp onto,” she said. “I bawled and cried but the song soothed me too. Triffie touched so many people and now Darrell gave us something else, when another person took so much away. The whole family loves the song. It touched every one of us,” said Sarina.
She said the image of Crevecouer in the song is especially emotional for the family since the cemetery behind Crevecouer is where Triffie was buried.
“I don’t know if Darrell knew that when he wrote it, but it is pretty significant to us.”
Sarina said the song is a great gift to Terra, who is so much like her mother.
“We will be putting any money raised from this into an account for Terra. My biggest wish for her is that her possibilities are endless. Her mom would have wanted that too.”
Sarina said while the song is an amazing gift, the whole community really came out in support of her family when the tragedy struck, and the entire family has been overwhelmed by the generosity of the community and people like Darrell Duke.
“We really can’t get over it all. And we can’t begin to thank Darrell and the community who were such a huge support to us,” said Sarina.
To receive a copy of “Triffie’s Song”, please contact Sarina Wadman or Darrell Duke on Facebook, or by email at reeniewadman@hotmail.com or darrellduke@live.ca. CDs are $5 each.
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